Almost Losing Another Friend

    I try to make as few posts as possible about non-Pico related information/my own experiences, because I feel that Pico Forever should be more directed toward personal opinions and updates about new things on Pico.  However, when it comes to death, or near-death, I feel that it's something important enough to write about, because there's nothing else I can do.

    A few months ago, I told everyone of the news about Justin.  I probably never mentioned this, but he's not dead, and he's just in the hospital currently.  He's been back to Pico a little over a month ago.  After almost losing Justin, I was so afraid of losing more people.  I definitely jinxed that.

    I don't know if he wants his name mentioned or not, since he didn't want his name mentioned in a story that I wanted to dedicate to him, I guess I'm make up the name, Jack.

    The story behind Jack is that he has been depressed for a long time, and is constantly thinking about suicide.  It hurts to know that I can't do anything to help cheer him up.  When a person's depressed, it's almost impossible for them to be happy.  It's as if happy doesn't even exist anymore.  Jack has family, friends, and relationship problems.  With so much chaos surrounding him all the time, I sometimes wonder if he even fakes his happiness.

    There has been many times where he has tried to quit Pico or actually kill himself.  The many times he attempted to quit Pico usually failed, which I guess I'm grateful for because I love him so much and don't want to say goodbye, but at the same time, it's a win-lose situation because he's practically failing school because of Pico.  There has been numerous times where he wanted to die, and kept saying he has made up his mind and is going to do it.  He's usually just bluffing and chickens out, but this, it was serious.  I didn't believe that he was going to do it, and I'm still having a hard time believing he actually almost died.  The fact that it was Father's Day yesterday, and he doesn't have a father anymore, probably added onto that sadness, that urged him to want to kill himself even further.

    Just half an hour ago, when I got onto Facebook, Jack had a post 10 hours ago that said:

hello, this is nick, some of you may know me. jake did take the pills sadly. in good news he is alive and only took enough to pass out, as far as i know he is still out. but i do assure you all he is fine. he will not be back for a while (few days) . i will be on his pico tmrw for an hour to answer shit (1-2 pm) thank you, and if you have nothing good to say dont say it.

    Nick is Jack's friend in real life.  Jack told me that if he actually killed himself, he would have Nick come online and inform everyone.  Jack attempted to commit suicide by overdosing on his antidepressants.  Fortunately, he didn't take too much.  Unfortunately, he's probably going to be in the hospital for a while and I just really want to talk to him.  I feel like I failed my job as a friend in trying to convince him not to kill himself.  I don't even remember how many times I have given him the "I-love-you-so-much-that-I-can't-bear-losing-you-and-that-you-shouldn't-do-this" speech.  I wish I had come on my laptop sooner and seen this message so that I could have gotten a chance to speak to Nick, but I was busy studying for my finals.


    Well, I guess I'll go back to studying for the finals.  I hope to see Jack soon<3